enormously grateful for my life

I am busily trying to pull all the loose ends of my loose life together by 5:10 pm tomorrow when I get on the ferry and begin my journey to Delaware Water Gap.  Then I can sigh and sleep.  Right now, it is as if a small tornado has taken hold of my consciousness and is quietly swirling within me.  So many projects, so little time.  The beaded bracelet project has taken over the dining room table.  Garlic baskets are on the coffee table (a perfect project to do while watching a movie or football).  Upstairs, my office is filled with neat little piles of mandala coasters needing to be sorted.  And the newest addition to the mandala family is a mandala cutting board, waiting for me to attach feet to their bottoms.  Dennis has taken to calling our house Susan’s Sweatshop (meant in the kindest of ways, but not without a little frustration since he does love clear surfaces and they seem to be impossible for me to achieve).  And then there was Thanksgiving weekend with many meals and many people weaving their way into mix.  Oh, and all the myriad of small and large things I need to do here before leaving.

So I woke up the Wednesday before Thanksgiving feeling so enormously grateful for my life and totally panicked at the same time.  I thought of my list of things to do and I thought of my family coming.  Part of me wanted to just be alone and keep beading bracelets or stay in bed with the covers over my head.  I realized that I had a choice to make.  I could look at the whole experience as stressful and the cooking as work and the time away from projects as really inconvenient.  Or I could choose to have FUN and relax and trust that it would all get done.  So I breathed life into that idea and let it grow as the day progressed.  I made a bracelet in the morning and only then cleaned the house.  I started cooking at 6 pm and just made dinner for that night, instead of being two days ahead of the meal situation.  I threw my menu and most of the recipes out the window and improvised more.  As a group, we all decided what to eat next and when to eat it.  Everyone helped.  I spent time outside.  I watched some football, made some baskets, sent some emails, and really enjoyed the company of friends and family, cats and dog.  I kept breathing and it kept flowing!  Could this be the start of something big?

Written on 29th November, 2010


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