This is what the studio looked like just before I left for Pennsylvania in early April. There were lots of projects in process. Paintings, drawings, baskets, painted magnets. It was messy and lively. It felt so good to be in there. I was content.
Today it felt a little abandoned. It needs a good cleaning. It wants attention. I need to reestablish contact with all those projects. I need to reset my priority to be in there. I always have great plans to float right back into painting as soon as I get back home. I have so many ideas.
And then I’m always a little more tired, a lot less creative, and more behind with other stuff than I bargained for.
So be it!
Amazing! I wrote that title just now thinking about how fast time seems to be going. And only then remembered that I had used the same title for a painting I did last summer. So Quickly Now is a flower form and to me felt full of movement and growth, but was also symbolic of how short-lived everything is.
January of 2012 is proving me right about that. It is almost half over already and I am feeling my own internal pressure to have accomplished more. My quiet (productive) winter time is vanishing before my eyes. By now I should have painted much more, created a new mandala (or two), made many beaded bracelets, worked on some unfinished baskets, finished knitting a scarf I started last year, read five books, lost ten pounds, organized my office (for real), and cleaned my house. I am “so quickly now” going to try to set aside my unrealistic goals, have some fun, make some art of some kind or another, and figure out that it’s all OK. Really!
I’m remembering what it’s like to be in my wonderful studio. To have six paintings and six paintings on paper and two sketch pads going at the same time. To see drips of paint on the wall and the floor and my clothing. To come back into the house with paint-smeared hands. To connect with the work in that way that can only happen when I’m in there every day. It is so powerfully motivating to have a show coming up once again. But I want to be thinking ahead in that same way, beyond the show and to keep remembering, and not to get so mental, and not to think too much about what it is that I’m going to paint, but to get out of my own way and out of my own head and just paint. And work in the garden and paint some more.